


The Horrifying Corn Maze

by Adamnedusername



Series: Pray for The DM Yall, for The Players Know Not What They Do [2]
Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dungeons & Dragons, Cleo heards cats, DnD typical violence, Gen, No editors I die like a man learning to edit by myself, Now with more words, Pray for her yall, dnd 5e
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:34:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27716180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamnedusername/pseuds/Adamnedusername
Summary: What happens when a heavily bullied runaway sorcerer prince, a druid who was accidentally abandoned by his parents, a GOOlock who was kicked out of wizard school for "practicing" the dark arts, a faelock whose parents and older brother were executed for consorting with the fae, and a bard with a happy childhood go on a quest together?After running away from an angry war paladin, the party runs into a small village plagued by evil scarecrows.
Series: Pray for The DM Yall, for The Players Know Not What They Do [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008246
Kudos: 15





	The Horrifying Corn Maze

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, this was meant to be done by Halloween.  
> Also, I've accepted the fact this series is about as family-friendly as Courage the Cowardly Dog. I'm only two stories in, and I feel like that's where the series will go.

Amber corn stalks liked the jack-o-lantern lit room as the creepy ambiance music played. Of course, the fitting decorations and stellar Kevin Macleod/Myuu playlist were not appreciated to the fullest as Grian, Scar, Zedaph, Mumbo, and Cub sat around the table wondering how they were expected to play DnD when they basically couldn’t see their character sheets. When Cleo came, she did not answer that question, instead choosing to put up her DM screen, take out her session notes, and put down a lamp and turn it on, casting an eerie glow upon her, similar to turning on a flashlight under your face to tell ghost stories.

She grinned wickedly at all of them “Hello my lovely players. Are we ready to start the Halloween game?”

They all nodded, and Cleo began her narration.

“You walk down a dark path, worn and weary after getting chased out of town because someone decided to threaten a paladin order with Cthulhu.”

They moved on quickly from that, not naming the certain GOOlock who did it. The 5 weary adventurers walked down a darkening woodland road as the sun started to set. Eventually, they came to a small farmhouse worn and weathered, but still looking hospitable. However, as they approached they noticed the family was scrambling to get lock up everything and get inside before dark.  
The group didn’t go unnoticed.

An old woman turned to them and shouted “Hurry up and get in!”

They all looked at each other confused before the old woman shouted again. “Hurry up before they get you!”

The group followed the old lady into the house. There in the small living room/kitchen area, they saw the family, an old human man frantically checking out the windows, a human man about 10 years older than them arming himself and the older man with wood stove pokers from beside said stove, three half-elf children, aged 3, 5, and 8, sitting around an old wooden table, and the old human woman trying to calm the children and tend to the guests now taking up the living room.

Grian spoke up. “Ma’am why did you bring us in here?”

“They’re coming,” she replied.

The party all just looked at each other in confusion. “Who’s coming?” Cub asked.

“You don’t know?” the old woman asked. Then she remembered these were strangers she brought into her home. “Oh, you’re not from around here. Let me explain.”

The old woman began espousing “A long time ago the village elders angered an old hag, and she cursed our plot of land, and she told us that every year the town has to send someone into the magic corn maze to find a tunnel out lest the scarecrows standing out in the field come alive and take someone themselves. This year, no one’s saying they’ll do it, and we’ll have no choice but to force someone to go in.”

“Wait,” Zed asked. “Why’d the hag curse your land if she was mad at the elders?”

“This wasn’t always our land.” The old man turned to them and clarified. “It used to be one of their plots. They just “gifted” it to us after the witch cursed it.”

Zed and the gang nodded, starting to understand why the witch was so angry with the elders.

“Who do you usually send in?” Scar asked, hoping they wouldn’t turn on him and say strangers.

“Usually the young adults. They seem to come back out most often.” The old woman said.

“How many are there, and how long do you have till they just start taking people?” Cub asked.

“There used to be 20 in the field, but we think there are only 3 now after some people say they’ve killed a few. As for how long we have, until the new moon tomorrow night.”

Grian, growing impatient with how easy he thought solving this problem was, asked the question he thought would be so obvious everyone would just facepalm. “Why don’t you guys just burn down the cornfield?”

Instead of being a mind blowing moment, Grian’s question soured the atmosphere in the room. The young man was about to just haul off and deck Grian, only to be stopped by the old man putting a hand on his shoulder, and pointing to the young children, the two older ones panicking and on the verge of tears, youngest staring off into space while the old woman got ready to explain why Grain’s pyro plan wouldn't work.

She pointed at the youngest half-elf. “Back when that one was only 5 months old, we burnt down the field. The next year, we found out they made it out alive and killed half the town the next year. We figure they survived by hiding in the tunnel,”

Of course, someone would suggest using pyromania to solve this problem forgetting about the tunnel, which would more than likely be non flammable, and now Grain felt bad for bringing up this fictional family’s trauma. 

He turned to his friends out of game. “What would be the best way to help these people?”

“More than likely, going to murder corn maze,” Mumbo replied.

“Yeah, and we have to go in with him, otherwise he’d probably just die,” Cub added.

Grian sighed before turning back to the old woman in the game. “We’ll go into the maze, but please give us a meal and a night’s rest beforehand?” 

The family obliged, and within a sentence, they were eating a meal when Scar had a question. “How will the scarecrows know we’re going into the maze tomorrow?”

Cleo ran out of big brain tactics and was caught off guard by Scar’s question. Scrambling for something to satisfy his curiosity, she asked for all her players to make a perception check.

Pretty much everyone except Mumbo and Zed rolled above a 15 and heard the scratching on the wall. 

Within a few sentences out of game and a rest in, the party stood outside the corn maze ready. Were the moon in any other phase besides new, it would be peaking over the horizon. Before they went in, the old woman offered them one more piece of advice. 

“Don’t walk through the corn,” She said. “They don’t seem to find that very fair.”

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all,” Grian snarked.

“It also kind of reminds me of how the fae operate,” Cub added. The others did not enjoy that revelation.

Out of game, Cleo placed a small battery candle at the entrance. “This represents you guys.”

“Wait, the room’s dark, and you give us a small candle,” Zed said, “is this to make the maze harder?”

“Ummm...You enter the corn maze.”

The group continued along, now all considering Zed’s thought. The lack of moonlight made it damn near impossible for Mumbo and Cub to see anything, so they had to borrow a torch off of Grian.

“Wait, why do you carry torches if you can see in the dark?” Mambo asked.

“To make sure you two can,” Grian replied.

“Hold up.” Cub turned to Scar. “You have torches too right?”

“Yeah?”

“Well can you two give time to me and Mumbo?”

Grian and Scar were about to comply when Zed spoke up. “Guys, we’re in the middle of a corn field with magical murderous scarecrows. Can we hold off on the inventory shuffling?”

The group stopped the shuffle and kept walking.

Up ahead they found a scarecrow hung up 30 feet ahead of them.

“We can’t have found the first one that easily,” Grian said.

“Only one way to find out,” Mambo said as eldritch energy crackled from his fingers. He looked to Cleo. “I attack the scarecrow.”

“Roll it.”

A 13 without modifiers. Mambo hits the stuffed fabric humanoid square in the chest, and in a fit of rage it leaps at him, knocking him on his back. Out of game, Cleo throws a small stuffed doll at Mumbo and watches the whole group jump. 

“It’s safe to say you’re in combat. Roll initiative.” she said.

Cub’s eldritch blast just barely clipped the scarecrow. Grian’s firebolt more than made up for it, the flames eating away at the flammable fabric as Zed’s vicious mockery chipped away at its mental capacities and kept the creature from swiping at Mumbo’s face with its dull rusted claws. Scar and Mumbo were able to help each other pry the fabric monster off of Mumbo using a thorn whip and an eldritch blast.

Mumbo stood up. “Why do scarecrows have rusty murder claws?” he shrieked. 

The scarecrow didn’t even get the chance to get up before Cub finished it off with an eldritch blast.

The group decided to take a quick breather after that fight.

“From the looks of it those things are weak to fire,” Grian said, “So I guess my burn down the field idea held some marriott.”

“Yeah, and it explains why they didn’t like that plan when the village first tired,” Scar said.

“We have the fire. It’s now a matter of finding the scarecrows and burning them,” Mumbo said.

Then Cub had a brilliant idea. “Or we can bring them to us.”

The others paused. “How do we do that?” Zed asked.

“I’ll explain. Scar, toss me your rope.”

Scar did and Cub started tying one end around his waist. “The old lady said they don’t like it when people walk in the corn, so I’m gonna walk in the corn until they come to us.”

“Cub that plan sounds completely mad. Are you really sure you want to do this?” Mumbo asked, his voice raising in pitch.

“He’s right,” Cleo said, a small smirk on her face. “Are you sure you wanna do that?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Cub said confidently.

“Okay.”

And so Cub walked into the corn with everyone else held onto the other end of the rope. After a while, Cub decided this wasn’t pissing off the scarecrows enough, so he started shouting and whacking the stalks. “Hey, you stupid scarecrows! I’m in your corn. What are you gonna do about it?”

Unfortunately for Cub, the scarecrows had a lot to say about him being there as they came and tried to abduct him, only being stopped by the rope tethering him to his team.

“Okay everyone except Cub make a quick strength check,” Cleo said.

The others gulped and rolled.

10, 20, 19, and 22. Even with Grian’s terrible strength, they were able to keep the scarecrows from dragging Cub away.

“Cub, how many of them are there?” Grian shouted.

“2 of 3?” he responded, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

“Okay guys, we can pull him back if there are only two or three of them,” Zed said, trying to inspire his friends.

“Real quick, Cub can you roll me a quick insight check before they try and pull you back?” Cleo asked with another evil smirk.

“Sure?” Cub said, uncertainty not leaving.

He cautiously picked up his dice and rolled a 13, and after adding his wisdom modifier, it became a 12.

“Yeah, you don’t notice it.” Cleo said before turning back to the rescue party, “Remember, Zed gave you all bardic inspiration. You can use it to add a d6 to your rolls.”

The group ignored Cleo’s friendly reminder with no ulterior motives and focused on trying to save Cub.

6, 7, 13, 18. Even with the extra dice, their rolls weren’t gonna cut it against the scarecrows. The rope snapped, making everyone fall to the ground in a pile as the scarecrows got away with Cub, the end furthest away looking cleanly cut.

The others looked around in a panic. “Do we know which way they’re taking him?” Scar asked.

“Perception check.”

The others rolled low, but Scar absolutely aced it with a 21.

“You hear them heading straight north.”

“And they’ll no doubt be going through the corn,” Mumbo commented.

“Well, what are we waiting for? Cub’s not going to save himself.” Zed rallied.

“Before you all go off to save him, can you do me a quick favor?” Cleo asked. “Zed, Cub, can you switch seats?”

They both exchanged confused looks before switching seats, Cub now on Cleo’s right-hand side, and Zed on Scar’s. 

“Now while the others are worried for your fate, let’s see what happens to you,” Cleo said. “Roll me a strength check. You’re gonna have to beat a 17.”

Cub rolled and got a 2. A worried look came on his face.

“You don’t save yourself.” She turns to the others. “What do you do?”

“How far do you think the scarecrows got?” Mumbo asked.

“Probably not that far…” Zed said hesitantly, “But they can probably just go straight through the corn while we have to do the maze.”

“So we’re screwed?” Grian asked.

Scar looked at his character sheet trying to see if he had anything to save his friend. A possible solution was written in the bottom left box on the first page. Hope-filled his mind. “Guys, I can turn into a horse!” He announced. “If you all get on my back, I can carry you guys around, and we can go through the maze faster.”

The others looked at him before they remembered druids can turn into animals.

“Okay Scar, horse up, and let’s get moving,” Grian said.

Scar wildshaped into a draft horse and let the others onto his back before galloping full speed down the maze, wind rushing through everyone’s hair. The group made it about 60 feet before they hit a fork.

“Left or right?” Zed asked.

Then Mumbo had a brilliant idea. “Over.”

Everyone looked at him like he was crazy.

“No, see, the scarecrows said we can’t go through the corn. They didn’t say we couldn't horse jump over it.”

That made a lot of sense to the adventurers, and they turned to Cleo. “How do we do it?” Grian asked, eyes wide with excitement.

Flabbergasted, Cleo turned to a different page in her book. Horse jumping was not planned tonight, but she was proud of their creativity. Now the question is, does she use long or high jump rules for this?

After a bit of pondering, she made a call. “I’m using hybrid long/high jump rules. Scar’s going to need to move 10 feet to clear the corn height wise and at least 6 feet of his movement, and he can move 18 feet lengthwise at max.”

“So I’m going to have to make strategic jumps? Got it.” Scar said.

He went back 10 feet before charging and clearing the corn lengthwise, and with his friends on his back, he cleared 15 feet of corn before landing in a clear space where he could get more charge distance in.

“Yes! That was amazing! Don’t worry Cub! The cavalry's coming!”  
The horse boys kept pushing through the maze, flying through and over the corn determined to save their friend. Meanwhile, at the request of the DM, Cub was trying to see if he could save himself because this whole situation sounded like a trap, but he couldn’t roll above a 12. Unfortunately for Cub, he hadn’t escaped, and the others were about to walk into a trap.

“As you enter the center of the maze, you find a large clearing. In the center is a table which Cub lay tied to. On the outside edges, you find 6 scarecrows on posts circling Cub.”

“Guys, I think this is a trap,” Cub shouted to them.

“We’re starting to think so too,” Mumbo replied.

“How do we know if these are real scarecrows?” Grian asked.

It was Zedaph’s turn with the group’s brain cell, and he had a brilliant idea. Hopping off Scar, he spoke to Grian and Mumbo. “You two shoot at the scarecrows,” and he turned to Scar “Cover me,” and then he turned to Cleo “Do you have any stats for a burning stick?” 

“No, but I’d say they do 1d6 fire damage. Why?”

“How many stalks of corn would you say that is?”

Cleo started to catch on. “5, but you gotta roll me a sleight of hand to see how many you cut in 6 seconds.”

Zed rolled and got a 16.

“You get them all, but you have to light them after tying them together. Grian, Mumbo, it’s your turn.”

They both attack two random scarecrows, Mumbo’s missing, and Grian’s torching a non-evil scarecrow. Then Zed ties the stalks together before Mumbo and Grian shoot at the same one Mumbo missed last round, hitting and critting it, and making the now dying one and his 4 healthy friends jump off their polls ready to attack.  
Zed wasted no time casting prestidigitation as the scarecrows moved in on the group as Scar moved closer to him. Grian, on the other hand, moved closer to the closer to the scarecrows before shouting to them.

“What? You needed 5 of you to take on little old me?” he taunted.

Most of them laser focused on Grian, but the nearly dead one decided to walk intimidatingly in front of Mumbo to try and keep him away from Cub.

“I’m going to set Scar and I up for a clothes line.” Zed said.

“Make an acrobatics check to see if you do that while riding a horse. I’d say you’ll have to beat a 17.”

18 with mods, and once Scar charged, that scarecrow didn’t stand a chance, erupting into flames and dying soon after. The other scarecrows noticed what happened to their companion, but before they could react, and before any of them could try to dodge, they all got engulfed by the flames and were absolutely scorched and barely clinging onto life. As Mumbo and the other two firebugs approached Cub, he(finally) broke his bindings and ran up to the group.

Scar decided ditching the extra speed and hitpoints being a horse gave him, and made Zed fall flat on his arse while doing so, decided to dramatically run up to Cub and give him a hug.

“Cub, we’re so glad you’re okay!” he said, pulling Cub into a bear hug. However, the hug would be more horrifying than heart warming. In some parts of Cub’s torso it felt like Scar was hugging a human, but in some spots felt more like he was clinging onto a straw stuffed doll, and the patches of clothes over the straw flesh matched the flannel of a scarecrow. “Sweet baby Jellie.” Scar cried out in surprise. 

The scarecrows heard the cry and turned to Scar, but before they could even react, Grian ended most of them with another shot of burning hands. The one that had the audacity to survive that and even dare suggest it was going anywhere near Scar during this emotional time was finished off with an eldritch blast from Mumbo.

“Guys, what’s happened to me?” Cub asked, not even bothering to hide the concern in his voice as he felt the straw under the new patches of clothes.

“I don’t know, but I think what’s happening to you could be considered body horror,” Mumbo replied.

Cub and Scar freaked out at that response, and it earned Mumbo a quick elbow in the ribs from Zed for his lack of tack.

“Cleo, is there anything I can do to reverse this?” Scar asked.

“Make me a medicine check.”

Scar only rolled a 9.

“You know your healing spells won’t fix this, but not what would.”

Then Grian had an idea. “What if I cast burning hands on him?”

“You can try,” Cleo said.

“Worth a shot,” Cub said.

Everyone else quickly got out of the way as Grian lifted his hands and shot fire at Cub. Everyone was thankful Cleo halved the damage when Grian rolled a 17. More importantly, everyone was more than grateful that that insane plan worked. The group pulled each other pulled him into a group hug(Zed dropping his murder corn), feeling soft Cubby flesh all the way through.

“How did that even work?” Mumbo said whistle hugging Cub.

Nobody really wanted an answer right now because they were too busy enjoying their friend being okay, Cleo even holding back the horrifying twist till they were done.

Eventually everyone pulled away and got back to business.

“Cub, what did those scarecrows do to you?” Scar asked.

“I’m not exactly sure,” Cub said. “They kidnapped me, strapped me to the table, chanted over me, and I just started transforming without even knowing it.”

The party wasn’t sure whether Cub not feeling the body horror transformation made it more or less scary.

Then Mumbo and Zed examined the table. It was a bit of a heavy table, heavy and strong enough to hold a full human. Mumbo and Zed were strong enough to lift the table and move it off the tunnel entrance.

“We found the tunnel,” Zed announced.

The group decided to make their way over to the tunnel when they heard a shuffling from the corn. From the edges of the corn clearing stood half a village's worth of scarecrows, staring, waiting to see what the adventurers do. Zed scratched his burning corn torch, making the scarecrows back off. 

“Guys, get in the tunnel and get some torches out.” Zed shout whispered at the others.

No arguments came from the others as they hopped into the narrow tunnel and got out 8 torches as Zed climbed down and lay the burning corn over the entrance. Once he was in, the group lit and placed the torches on the ground, and ran down the tunnel.


End file.
